- Previously on "Good Girls"...
- We suck up to the gang leader who we stole from
and convince him to pay us a living wage.
- Which we then use to pay someone else
to blow his brains out.
- I am here to see a Mr. James Fitzpatrick.
- He left something for you.
- 11,000 in incidentals?
- How much cut have you got now?
- I don't know.
- Where's it all going, Elizabeth?
- I can't tell you.
- Then I can't cut you in anymore.
- I quit my job today. - Why?
- I kissed my boss.
- Hot tubs. It's not regulated.
Any idiot can sell them.
- Welcome to Boland Bubbles.
- This is the crime jar.
Do something good with the money.
- I figured out who we should help.
I got their daughter's kidney.
- How about a car?
- Pardon?
- I had him recall the nail polish.
Nail salon robbed. Guess what they took?
[dramatic music]
[glass shatters]
♪
[The Unicorn's "Ooh Mother"]
[solemn ballad]
- ♪ Get smart
♪ Leave school
♪ Grow hard
- [sighs] - ♪ Be cool
♪ Keep it in your head
♪
♪ Don't get in debt
♪ Don't fret or forget
♪ To wish your neighbor well
♪
♪ Ooh, mother
♪ It ain't like the way you said ♪
♪ Ooh, sister
♪ Well, it seems we've been misled ♪
♪ Ooh, baby
♪ Is it worth it?
♪ Is it hell?
♪ Old lady, you could tell us ♪
♪ So tell us well
- [sighs]
[bell dings]
♪
How you doing today?
- Better than these guys.
- Then you came to the right person.
- Let's hope so.
- ♪ Ooh, mother
♪ It ain't like the way you said ♪
♪ Ooh, sister
♪ Well, it seems we've been misled ♪
- Whoa.
- What do you think?
- Bold.
- Go Red or Go Home.
- Yeah, baby. Go red!
[laughs awkwardly]
- That's just the name of the polish.
- Oh.
- [laughs]
And go easy on the high-fives till you're dry.
- Okay. Oh, hey, oh.
Can I get some change?
- Oh, yeah. - Thanks.
Geez, you gotta check tens now?
- You never know what's out there.
- I wouldn't even know what to look for.
- Oh, there's little tricks.
Obvious stuff. Security strip, the ink.
But here's the real giveaway.
You see right below Hammy there?
- Mm-hmm. - Tiny microprint.
- Wow, you really know your stuff.
- Ah.
You'll smudge. - [laughs]
- I'll be right back. - Thanks.
[indistinct chatter]
- So what can I do for you guys?
- Well, I guess you could say we're in the market.
- You came back for a hot tub?
- We want all of 'em.
- [laughs nervously] Excuse me?
- We would like to buy your place, Gayle.
- [knocks] Yo, Pimp. - Hey.
- How's the delivery biz treating you?
- Really sucks, Eric.
- Word.
- I'm not following.
- So we took monthly sales
plus the equity left in the franchise,
we netted out the S, G, and A costs,
and projected a 5% cash flow growth.
- And according to the National Pool and Spa Association,
he's being very generous.
- That's how we got the number.
It's pretty fair.
- Why would I be looking to sell?
- Because my husband's looking to buy.
- Maybe he should look somewhere else.
- Why's that?
You didn't.
Two ways we can handle this.
One: you bow out discreetly
and spend a little time with your family.
- What's the other?
- Pretty much exactly the same,
only we would be less discreet
and your family would just hate you
for the rest of your life.
- On page three, you'll see we let you keep the awards.
- If I sold,
it would be for way more than what you're offering.
- Try us.
- Where are we gonna get that kind of money?
- I don't know.
- Like, a loan or...
- I don't know.
I'll find it. - No.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- Why?
- If we're doing this, it has to be legit.
- [sighs]
Okay.
- For real?
- I believe in you.
- How is that a win-win?
- He gets to feel like a man,
and we have a new way to wash our cut.
- Have you guys seen my phone?
- Okay, but in what universe
are they gonna give a business loan
to a Postmates driver?
- Whose last business was raided by the FBI?
- Do you even have a credit card right now?
- I have lots of them. And they're all maxed out.
- How is it just gone?
- Look, he's gotta believe this thing is his, okay?
- Again, so he can "feel like a man."
- But eventually, he'll have to come to me for the money.
- Which we don't have.
- Few more runs.
- Then we'll all be taking steamy Bolands.
- I swear I had it this morning.
- Well, did you check your purse?
- Obviously.
- Car? - I looked.
- Because your case is the same color as your seat.
- Not in the car.
- Find My Phone?
- Don't get mad at us.
- Yeah. We have our phones.
- Oh, my God.
- Oh!
Your pocket.
- My pocket.
You think I didn't check my pocket?
[TV chatter]
- Where have you been?
- You likey?
- We're done.
- Too slutty? Not slutty enough?
- He's pulling the plug.
- Why?
- 'Cause we don't have anything.
- How about the third best Pad Thai Detroit has to offer?
- That's not enough.
I'm just so much hotter here.
A D.C. six is like a Detroit nine.
- How about this?
- Is that hers?
Cute kids.
- They're okay.
- I'll unpack.
- So how's your system going?
It's... good.
It's fine.
- Just fine?
- It's great.
We're almost up and running.
- So how's it work?
- What do you mean?
- Walk me through it.
- Hot tubs are sorta like mattresses.
- That right?
- Brands aren't apples to apples
so there's no way of knowing what the real price is.
My books can say anything.
- Free delivery?
- Whatever the customer wants.
- Got my tub the same day.
- It's all profit.
You have my cut?
- Yeah, about that...
I'm thinking it'd be better business
if you just wash everything on your end.
And like you said,
car wash thing's bad news, right?
- Yeah, IRS is all over that.
- And we don't wanna fight with Uncle Sam, right?
- That guy'll mess you up good.
- [laughs]
- But my system is just for me.
- Oh, no.
No.
We're consolidating.
- So you want me to print and wash.
- Mm.
There's a business term for that.
What is it? - Synergy.
- Synergy!
Synergy.
That's right. [laughs]
So same time, yeah?
- For what?
- My cut.
[door closes]
- Please tell me you've seen my phone.
- Nope.
- [sighs]
Been looking all day.
- Well, maybe it's with all the money
that used to be in here.
Oh, you think 'cause you stashed it
in a Chico's bag at the bottom of the bin,
I wouldn't see it?
- They needed a car.
- You know what I did to fill this thing?
- She put me on the spot, Stan.
- All the shady hustles.
- Our child wouldn't even be here.
- I left my soul in that jar.
- Okay.
It's my money too. - Our money.
- It went to the right people.
- That's not the point.
- Okay. What if you had said no?
- That's the point. - What?
- You didn't give me the chance.
- You didn't see her face.
- You know what?
You deal with the kids in the morning.
- What do you want from me?
- I got a late shift. - Stan.
- I want you to be the woman that I married.
- I don't even know what that means.
- You're paying me back.
- Are you serious?
- Yeah.
- Or what, Stan? - There is no "or what."
- Excuse me?
- Do it.
- "Synergy"?
- What does that even mean?
- It means it was never our system.
- Flipping his game.
Flipping it again and again.
- We've been building it for him.
- I mean, it sounds more like vertical integration.
Just if you wanted to be technical.
- Why would you tell him it's operational?
- I said almost.
And we needed the cut.
- That we didn't get anyway.
- Sorry, is something burning?
- Danny! I said out in the driveway!
It's his science project.
- Where is the hit man when you need him?
- Oh, lemme tell you.
Rasta Pasta at the Rainforest Café,
oat milk lattes at Great Lakes...
- He went bananas at Home Depot.
- At least he put us back on the schedule.
- When?
- Well, I don't know
because his appointment girl won't call me back.
- How many people is he booked to kill in a week?
- Okay, you know what? Let's just not freak out.
'Cause all we have to do is...
if we take the... we can...
What do we do?
- We're gonna go old-school.
We're gonna wash it little by little
till we can afford to buy the place.
- Can't do that.
- Why?
- I need it sooner.
- Well, it's not like that bitch
has any other offers coming in.
- It's for my marriage.
- I've got a bigger balance on my Starbucks card.
- What's in her email?
- Nothing.
Only took me 22 hours
and a case of Red Bull to break in.
- Texts? - [sighs]
Husband, playdates, carpool, church.
Emojis. So many prayer hands.
- Those are actually two people high-fiving.
- So when my friend Melissa was at the vet
with her cat who was hit by a car,
I high-fived her?
Like, "Yay, they got him good"?
- Unless she thought they were prayer hands.
- How do I know?
- Well, what happened to the cat?
- She never responded.
- You high-fived its death.
I mean, who hangs out with friends this much?
- Where'd you eat lunch in high school?
- In the bleachers. Why?
- Say no more.
You know none of this is admissible.
- Don't need it for court.
[distant bass-heavy music]
♪
- Something wrong with the potato salad?
- Nope.
[distant crowd chatter]
- 'Cause it's your mother's recipe.
- Already ate.
- You could've saved me the trip.
- You could've asked me first.
Oh, right.
That's not your thing.
♪
- Hey, Ruthie!
- Hey.
- Ooh, is that Cherisse's potato salad?
- Have mine.
- Oh, yum.
♪
- I have that same cream.
- It's yours.
- It's so dope
'cause when you have to pick up all the money from the stage,
your hands get so dry.
Thank you.
- My pleasure.
- Super silky.
- Oh, I know it is.
- You know, it feels expensive.
- Very. [car honks]
- Hey, would you tell Neal I'll be out there in a second?
- You bet, Stanimal.
Bye.
[safe beeping]
- I know you're dying for me to say "could've asked."
- What if you had said no?
- Perfect.
♪
I know how we're gonna wash that money.
[light country pop]
- We do the traditional square,
but the pillow party box is also very popular
I will be right over here if you have any questions.
♪
- We're robbing Stan.
♪
- Literally anything else would be better.
- Okay.
Quick brainstorm sesh?
- Okay.
- What do you got?
[funky music]
♪
- ATM spree. - Yes.
We hook a chain up to the back of a car...
♪
- Then what?
- Okay.
What about something like the...
the pizza guy with the bomb vest?
- Oh, yeah.
But that guy robbed a bank. - Yeah.
Yeah, but, you know,
I saw a whole Netflix documentary about it.
He was in on it
and he walked out with a huge bag of cash.
- And then he got his head blown off.
- Oh, I didn't know that part.
- Must've fallen asleep by that point.
- Ugh. I'm so mad at Stan.
This makes the most sense.
- What makes the most sense is couples therapy.
Not grand larceny.
- You didn't see the way he talked to me.
- Look, Stanimal aside,
I mean, that place is pretty much a trash heap.
- The whole hellhole should be burned to the ground.
- At this point, I don't even know who we owe.
Is it a hit man, homeboy, hot tub?
So whatever.
I'm down.
- I just don't get it.
- What's not to get?
It's an armored truck.
- Swap fake for real.
- But the fake cash
goes straight to the bank
and we go straight to jail.
- So there's a few kinks to work out.
[upbeat jazz music]
♪
- [scatting]
♪
[singing in French]
♪
- How's the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants?
- Always together.
- DL Dave's gonna want more
than their favorite tabes at Cheesecake Factory.
- Here's what I know about girls who are this tight.
- Literally nothing.
- But they know everything about each other.
She's not in this alone.
- Get your own.
- What?
- Beth.
- Yeah?
- High risk. - Uh, hello.
- That's what I heard all day.
- From who?
- Banks, credit unions,
those payday places,
even that D-bag all over the bus stops.
You know how it says "instant approval"
or "no credit score too low"?
Guess what. They never met Dean Boland.
- So what are you gonna do?
- [sighs]
I don't know.
My mom's gonna give us her ottoman.
- We don't have a couch
- I told her that. - Good.
- The ottoman will be here tomorrow.
- [sighs]
- I know. I'm sorry.
I just don't want him involved again.
- Okay.
- Now could you...
- Sorry.
[distant bass-heavy music]
♪
- What are you doing here?
- You still gotta eat.
- I'm fine.
- Cheetos aren't lunch.
♪
I'm gonna pay you back.
Every cent.
♪
- Is that pot roast?
- Ten hours in the slow cooker.
♪
- 'Scuse me, sir? Sir?
Have you seen that man?
Did you see the man go in there?
- I didn't see anyone.
[Flamingo Pier's "Find Your Way"]
- Said he's here for the Caesar salad.
Like that's why a man spends all night in there.
For the tableside Caesar salad!
- I used this merlot marinade. - Mm-hmm.
- It's literally going to melt in your mouth.
[car honks] - Oh.
Be right back. - No, one bite, one bite.
- Do they even have a Caesar salad?
I mean, do they have
a Caesar salad?
- Maybe? - Yeah.
Maybe.
Maybe it's a nasty-ass thing they do on his face, huh?
- Yo, Neal. - ♪ Find your way
- I got two for you today.
- Oh, my, that's good. - ♪ Find your way now
- Now the potatoes. - I gotta go.
- No, no. Just one bite, one bite.
- Neal's waiting. - ♪ Find your way
- Mmm.
- Who are you again?
- I'm from corporate.
You know, they send me down when they're in a pickle.
[funky music]
- I'm sorry. Excuse me, Neal.
I'm so sorry to put you in this position
but I'm gonna need you to go in there
and I'm gonna need you to get him out for me, okay?
- Look, I'm just trying to do my job, lady.
I gotta go.
♪
ATMs.
Making it rain.
- It is monsoon season, am I right?
- ♪ Find your way now
- Tell Stan "feel better."
- Yeah, will do. Hey, take her ease, Neal.
- ♪ Find your way
- You gotta try the Brussels sprouts.
- No, the man's got runs to make.
- ♪ Find your way
- Let me make my drop,
7and I'll be back for the Brussels, okay?
- Wait.
You can't go out there.
- [sighs]
Hey.
- Hey, buddy. Thought you were sick.
- Yeah, it was a stomach thing.
You all good?
- Yeah, I think so.
- Mind if I check?
- Your money.
- [sighs] Let's see...
- Everything kosher?
- Yeah.
Just wanted to check the deposit slips.
- Well, feel better.
Lot of bugs going around.
- Yeah.
[engine turns over]
[engine revving]
- Huh.
- Is there a problem?
- Just didn't know you can get checks
with dolphins on 'em.
- The kids love 'em.
- Whatever works.
- So do we have a deal?
- [sighs] That's up to you.
- What do you need, a week or two?
I mean, ideally, we would like to transition
as soon as possible.
- Can I ask you something?
- And we'll need a release from the franchise agreement.
- Why would you do this for him?
- Because he is my husband.
- That's enough?
- No.
I need you to initial here, here, and here.
- I'm sorry.
You just take "standing by your man"
to a whole new level.
- Well, you don't know him.
- I know if he told you
what really happened between us,
you wouldn't waste a cute dolphin check on him.
Oh, honey.
- What?
- I'm not the first, am I?
- We can finish this up later.
- Should I hold on to this?
- I'll take that.
- I think that's smart.
[door closes]
- Got a new phone.
- What'd you do with the rest of it?
[sighs]
So what? We just good now?
- You told me to pay you back.
I did it.
- So you steal from me to pay back what you stole?
- It wasn't really from you.
- Yeah, it's from where I work.
- It's not a church, Stanley.
That place runs on sin.
- It's still my ass on the line.
- It never made it to the bank.
- Oh, great.
- So you can say however much you want was in those bags.
- Thanks for having my back.
- I'm just making my man happy.
You know, following orders.
- Come on.
- 'Cause you're the boss now, right?
You run the house.
- I don't want that. - That's what I heard.
- I want old you.
Okay? The way you used to be before.
The whole point of this stupid thing
was to make us better people, babe,
and you stole from it.
- To pay for a car for someone that needed it!
Which makes me a better person!
- It's ruining us.
- So what do you want?
You wanna go back? - I don't know.
I don't know.
- You wanna go back to the mall?
I go back to slinging donuts?
- I don't know.
- 'Cause I gotta tell you,
there's not enough donuts in the world
that's gonna cover our baby's meds.
But hey...
maybe Paul Blart can save the day.
[somber music]
♪
- Oh, hey.
The kids' smoke detector hasn't had a battery
in God knows how long.
[water running]
- Well, there's really nothing left to lose.
- Right. Only our whole family.
- Can I ask you something?
- Sure there was a spare 9-volt in here somewhere.
- Would you have ever slept with her?
- What?
- Like, before.
When we were really not doing well.
- Um...
Found it.
- I mean, she's not...
not-pretty.
- Okay, you look amazing.
- That's not what I asked.
Would you have ever slept with her?
- Uh... [sighs]
She wears this...
perfume.
- Sexy.
- And she's got...
a really nice ass.
And...
perfectly sized...
boobs.
And she's kinda crazy,
which could go either way in the sack, and...
and overall,
it seems...
you know, worth the gamble.
- So you would've.
- Probably.
- Thanks for being honest.
Where's the chief?
- Art class.
- Really? - Yeah.
You know, pencils and chalk and whatnot.
And then he's going to aerobics.
Is that good enough for you?
Where the hell's his cut?
- It was my son's diaper bag. Just bring it back next time.
Hey.
I need another favor.
- [laughs] You serious?
- I'm obviously good for it.
- I'll have to add it to your tab.
- Yeah, fine.
- What do you want?
- When you took my furniture...
- I didn't take nothing.
- How did you do it?
[mellow music]
♪
- They don't know who it was.
They completely took everything.
♪
I'll call you back.
- Oh, my God. What happened?
- What do you want?
- Well, I wanted to buy a hot tub place, but...
this place doesn't have any hot tubs.
So...
wow.
Not what I was expecting, you know?
Uh...
I mean...
how's that?
- We already agreed on a number.
- Well, yeah, but...
that doesn't seem fair.
I mean, why would I pay that much
when it's just an empty showroom?
♪
I mean, if you're not interested...
- Sea lions, huh?
- Oh, yeah.
It's a whole marine life series.
[laughter]
- Let's go! - [laughing]
- Hey.
Those aren't church clothes.
- We're not going to church.
- You're not?
Says who, Jesus?
- Daddy.
- He says we're going go-karting.
- Oh, yeah, they got so good on your Jazzy,
I figured it was time to take it up a notch.
Shoes. [both giggling]
Shoes! Put on your shoes!
[laughter]
- They have Sunday school.
- And the rest of their life to be good.
- Where's all that going?
- I'm giving back.
- To who?
- The people who deserve it.
Last chance.
You were right. - Oh, I know.
- I don't know where we're going.
I just wanna go there together.
- Looks like a star.
[Goldberg's "Winter/Summer"]
♪
Jackets, bathroom, car!
Let's burn some rubber.
Hmm.
♪
You already tried to return it, didn't you?
- Oh, yeah. They were gonna hose me good.
[laughs]
♪
- Almost up and running, huh?
- We had an issue with the previous owner.
- No, I love it.
- You do? - Yeah.
Get away with anything you want in a place like this.
- Well, it'll look even better when I get the spas back in.
- Oh, yeah?
- And the barbecue accessories.
- Cool.
I'll take a dip.
- Okay.
- You wanna join me?
- I would be happy to have a sales representative
walk you through all the features.
- Nah. Those things breed diseases.
- When does it get to be mine?
- When does what get to be yours?
- ♪ It's time now I think of it ♪
- I made all of this happen.
- ♪ You came from the circus
- Next time, empty the clip.
[laughs]
♪
I'll see you soon, yeah?
- ♪ You had a pocket full of tricks ♪
♪ And six months to live
♪
♪ He's a gambling man
♪
♪ Ah
♪
- That's classy.
- Always.
- ♪ Ah
- Hey, let your sister have a turn.
♪
To being small business owners.
- Kinda.
- Very small.
- Like, micro.
- Okay.
To hit men.
- Wherever they may be.
- Good luck and Godspeed.
♪
- No way!
You did my nails.
- Huh?
- Go Red or Go Home, remember?
- Oh. Hey.
- [laughs]
You guys probably know this,
but your girl here's like Picasso.
My hands are a work of art.
- Oh, wow.
- Gorge.
- Yeah. [breathing heavily]
So what are you guys celebrating?
♪
- ♪ Ah
♪
♪ He sings songs, na na na na ♪
♪
♪ He sings songs, na na na na ♪
♪
♪ He's a gambling man
♪
♪ He's a gambling man